Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

Having children ruins your relationships

21/01/2014

FatherBabyUnhappy

Further to my two posts last year examining the unexpected and highly counterintuitive effects that parenthood has on parents’ personal happiness (as well as Bill Hicks’ wonderful take on matters!), my Confirmation Bias is satisfied yet further by a recently published study from the Open University on the effect that having children has on relationships:

Couples without children have happier marriages, according to one of the biggest studies ever of relationships in Britain.

Childless men and women are more satisfied with their relationships and more likely to feel valued by their partner, the research project by the Open University found.

(…)

The study, involving interviews and surveys with more than 5,000 people of all ages, statuses and sexual orientations over a two-year period, will be presented at the British Library this week.

The ellipse in the above paragraph contains one slightly inconvenient truth to my stance:

But researchers also discovered that women without children were the least happy with life overall, whereas mothers were happier than any other group, even if their relationships faltered.

But I’m a bloke; none of that affects me.  So, hey ho!

Further reading over at The Daily Telegraph, The Independent, The Huffington Post and The Daily Mail.

I’ll give the last word to The Onion’s “American Voices”:

“My parents did always tell me I was the source of their unhappiness.”

– Phyllis Ireland, Wax Pourer

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The all time greatest victory for men-kind

05/09/2013

The above clip is from the 1992 Whitney Houston popcorn-vehicle The Bodyguard starring Kevin Costner in the titular role as Frank Farmer, the grunt assigned to protect a young pop star who is receiving death threats from a deranged fan.

I have never been to America and have not met many American women in my time, however, I read in Christopher Hitchens’ memoir, Hitch-22, that they are far more open and forward than British women when it comes to stating how attractive they find men.

In the middle of a party, and concerned at the unsavoury character his client is about to lay, Farmer is approached by an attractive-if-slightly-past-her-sell-by-date lady who hits on him with the line, “I’ve been watching you all night from across the room.”  Whether out of a sense of duty towards his incautious employer or out of genuine revulsion at this latest sexual predator, Farmer retorts:

Why don’t go back there and keep watching.

Now, I believe that the overwhelming majority of women in this World are evil when it comes to their dealings with the opposite sex.  They clearly go to take secret classes at some point in their formative education as children in manipulation of men’s minds and maintaining the balance of power very much in their favour.

I think that any slim and classically attractive woman enters a roomful of people and knows that all the men there find her attractive and would want to have a romantic relationship and/or sexual encounter with her.  However, they keep their deck of cards hidden and let their hapless quarry pursue them.  If the relationship ends, then they know that all they have to do is appear in public and another luckless fool will come their way and allow the cycle to begin again.

As the song goes, “I’ll find another you in a minute / Matter fact, he’ll be here in a minute.”

So, from the entire male Homo sapiens sub-species: well done, Kevin!